Sunday, 22 April 2012

Growing up

This amazing blog is currently doing a series of journalling prompts, which have been giving my quite old and shabby journal quite the workout lately. I started using the journalling prompts much later than they were released, and as a result am only up to #25, it is however, one I feel worth sharing:

Journaling Prompt #25 ~ Write about one of your beginnings. This can be anything you can think of. The beginning of a relationship, the beginning of learning something, the beginning of a moment...
My entry is about the beginning of growing up:

I believe I didn't actually begin to grow up until I left home. I had no responsibility, no financial pressure, no care for style or class and no idea who I really was. I lived like a teenager in a box. I had interests, hobbies, opinions and dreams, but no sense of self, no desire to be a better person, no idea of creating my own personal style, beliefs and morals and no feeling that these things were missing from my life.

When I moved out of home I was 22. I had to learn to budget, to behave like a grown up, make important decisions and start dressing as though my outfits mattered (because, let's face it, they did). I became my own person.

I learnt how to go without things that were on the 'want' list for things on the 'need' list, I learnt to become responsible for myself, which meant no longer relying on my mother as an alarm clock, chef, laundry lady, ATM, taxi and carer - as a result I have a much closer relationship with her now (more like a friend).

I've developed my own sense of feminine style and learn what colours and cuts to fill my wardrobe with (more importantly, I got rid of those teenage outfits I'd been clinging on to - just because they fit, doesn't mean they should be worn). I've become passionately interested in the world of etiquette and have learnt that the best accessory I can possess is good manners and ladylike behaviour.

I've learnt what it is to care more for someone else than myself, to put their needs first and also what it feels like to have other living things be dependent on me. When I was 21 I felt grown up, I was full of thoughts and opinions about the world and they probably weren't my own. Back then, I was merely a teenager who had outgrown her teenage years and wasn't ready to step into adult shoes. I now feel confident that I can call myself an adult but I realise that I will never stop growing up.

My beginning of growing up has led to other new beginnings, like running a business, enrolling in university and owning property (things that didn't occur possible to me at 21). There may be a long way to go, but I can now say "I am growing up."

3 comments:

  1. I've just read this Ali and wanted to write 'me too, me too' after everything you've written! I had this moment on Friday while trying to find a dress to wear to a wedding saturday . . .must have tried on 12 dresses(all of which I wore 2 yrs ago pre-babies). It seems I've suddenly grown up again & they all just looked too young!Thanks for visiting my blog & pleased I've found yours too.
    lovT
    www.ladychatterleysaffair.com

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  2. Thanks Tina,

    So glad to know that someone else feels this too!

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  3. oh, this sounds very familiar!.. i moved out of town to study and I never went back! I felt just like that and actually feel like that as well! I love your ballet profile pic!

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Thank you for your fabulous opinions!